All reblogs probably. I used to be EPICDUCK623. I used to be somebody. This is what life has come to.
lush employee: hello, how can I–
me: hello, potion seller. I am going into battle and I need your strongest potions.
what happens to wizards who only committed minor crimes like…can you go to azkaban for tax fraud??? is there a guy in there who just sold some dodgy healing potions and is now getting his soul sucked out of his nose??
This is a game of truth or dare with all the egos of Jacksepticeye and Markiplier! Send in asks with whatever truths or dares you want to challenge and who you’re challenging. They’ll be answered in story form, could be long or short depending on what happens… and if I really like one of them I may do a sketch to go along with it!
~The Moderator
Anonymous asked:
A deep rumble of distortion rattles the windows and it takes a while before it can be identified as a groan.
“Of course this is the first one…” Dark rubs his temples and crosses his leg over the other.
“I expected that. One of the reasons I agreed to this whole thing.” A giggle bounces around the glass walls of the meeting room, interrupted only with the sound of shifting and unease from the almost uncountable number of egos crowded in. Dark looks to Anti with a cold glare.
“Really? I remember being taken here with little to no explanation for a vague orientation and then being immediately broadcasted. Unless you got special treatment which I truly doubt I don’t believe you really agreed to anything.”
Antis grin falters but his cocky attitude doesn’t fail. The others look on in suspense. All confused as to the situation but more fascinated with the scenario before them than anything. The glitch rises without a word and warps to Darks side before falling dramatically over his lap. The entity jolts before attempting to shove him off, but his hands faze through in a swarm of pixels.
“Aw cmon Darki. I know you’ve wanted it for a while…”
“You don’t know me and I don’t know you besides the fact that you’re sloppy, chaotic, disorganized, childish… should I go on?”
The demon flushes a light green. “Aw, baby! I didn’t ask for such lovely compliments! See, you keep flirting with me so blatantly. Let’s make a rule to keep this one above the belt for now though okay pookums?”
Dark seethes silently, most likely contemplating the best way to torture and dispose of the pest. Slowly. Suddenly Anti raises a thin hand and strokes it down the pasty grey of Darks cheek.
“Wanna get this over with or not?” Anti is growing impatient. But Dark won’t give in just yet. If this bullshit was going to happen it would be on his terms. A moment goes by. The room is quiet save almost inaudible whispers like a hiss around the office and the sound of Antis jeans rubbing together as he kicks his legs playfully like a child.
After about thirty second of silence, Dark grabs Antis shirt collar, Careful to avoid getting blood on his hands, and yanks him in, pressing his lips to the sickening green of Antis. He winces at the unexpected ice cold and tastes iron on the pests lips. He shoves Anti off before he can pry open his mouth and make his way further.
“Done.” The entity wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and rolls the giggling demon away with his foot.
tmblr-a-binch asked:
“The Host is confused as to what the asker is proposing. Whether they mean for him to choose one or do both is unclear.”
“DO BOTH!” Yan squeals from atop the meeting room table. She swings a sacrificial knife casually around one finger while holding up her heavily adorned sequin phone with the other hand. “It’ll be so cute! And the first one oughtta be juicy!”
“The Host doesn’t wish to reveal such intimate things. But the rules of the game weighs heavily until he can hardly breath. He tries to hold out and claim he has no secrets but the lie detecting properties of the cursed game choke it out of him. ‘I killed many men.’ Declares the Host. ‘I was given a gift. The gift of written word. And I abused it.’ The Host can sense the tension and unease in the room. The others are scared. ‘I drove men to suicide, Insanity, horrible accidents, murder… all because I wanted to be the best and most dramatic author the world would know. I ignored my victims needs and simply used them as actors. Pawns. To make my tragedies come to life. When I finally understood the error of my ways I was too far gone. I wanted to write. I needed to write. So I did all I could do. I forced my arm to raise the pencil I’d been writing my latest novel with. It was still sharp. And I gouged my own eyes from my skull. A blind man cannot write.’”
The Host continues to narrate the reactions of the egos. The room is quiet. The mood is heavy.
“Nice one Hosty! Now let’s get to the smooching!” Yan claps her manicured hands. Dark glares at the faux schoolgirl and groans.
“Why is it me doing the kissing?!”
“Because you’re dark and brooding and sexy as fuck!” Anti calls from his spot on the table near Yan. Yan giggles and nods.
Dark rolls his eyes. “Fine. Better to get it over with. At least he’s not as childish and uncouth as some demons I know.” Anti giggles and waves in a kingly manner to the egos as if he’s proud of the callout.
The Host approaches Dark and narrates the awkward interaction.
“The Hosts brow collects discreet beads of sweat and his chest tightens. He’d never quite been fully sexually or emotionally attracted to the lead ego but it wasn’t well buried that he had had intimate fantasies of such an encounter as this-“ Dark slaps a hand over the Hosts mouth.
“You don’t need to see for this. Save yourself and all of us from going any further.” The Host nods under Darks hand. He’s slightly flushed which is a bit uncommon for the stoic man. But it could only be suspected it may be his social awkwardness and anxiety keeping him from kissing his boss in front of a room of people. As It would be kissing anyone in front of a room of people.
Dark sighs. “Look, I like you. In a platonic colleague way. So I’ll make this as comfortable as possible for both our sakes.” He removes his hand from the Hosts mouth and he’s thankfully quiet. But before he can lean in the Host has his lips on his. They’re much warmer than Antis, though it’s obvious in the posture and stiffness that the poor man has never kissed anyone before. Or hasn’t in a very long time. It’s a tad endearing. But the whole situation is still awkward as all hell. Nether of them move their hands save for Darks hand rested on Hosts hip to diffuse the awkwardness of the gesture by just a bit. It’s over soon enough and the games power gives them a nudge to signify the time is up. Dark breaks away to find Host with his hand out to shake.
“The Hosts hopes this situation won’t make things awkward in times to come.”
Dark shook his hand. “At this point we all have to forfeit some of our dignity for this god awful game.”
“Aaaand scene!” Yan stops her recording and claps. “Coulda been spicier but I liked it!”
“Coulda been MUCH spicier.” Anti looks up from the lock of Yans hair he’d been braiding.
“It was perfect!” The group turns to see the Jim’s placing the lense cap over their camera.
Anonymous asked:
Dark sighs.
“I’m getting tired of this objectification.” He looks about the room. Not for someone he likes, but for whoever blushes the fastest. He strides over to Chase and smirks before taking his hand. He spins him and dips him gracefully before placing a line of kisses up his arm. Chase squeals in fear and confusion but hopefully mostly arousal.
“What the hell man?!” Chase pulls away and yanks his hat over his face. “That’s fuckin gay…” he mumbles into the brim.
“Is that a problem?” Dark tips his head and smirks slyly. He does like things like this if it’s out of his own power. Watching them blush because of something so easy. He still doesn’t like the game but this ask isn’t so bad. This guy was pretty cute. Annoying as all hell, Bing-like in personality, all around not Darks type, but cute. Dark plucks his cap from his head and places a quick kiss in his hair before putting it it back on lopsided, enjoying the second blush that came over the shaking man.
“Why me?!”
“You’re the easiest.” The entity blows a quick kiss before taking his seat again, a devious smirk still playing on his lips as he watches the ego squirm.
Anonymous asked:
Dark stays silent a moment.
“William.”
Wilford perks up. “Me? I’m Wilford you silly goose! And I’m flattered!”
“Not you. Forget it. Eat more candy or something.”
Wilford shrugs it off, a bit disappointed, before distracting himself with cotton candy.
the-actor-himself
Anonymous asked:
🍆 for one muse to use toys on the other muse.
To his credit, Damien had been controlling himself rather well for most of the evening. Dinner among friends, casual conversation. A few drinks. He’d managed to sneak through most of it under the radar, staying just involved enough to keep from arousing suspicion while also avoiding as much dedicated attention as possible.
It was during a peak in activity - William was showing off currently, much to Celine and the DA’s delight - that Mark quietly slid out of his seat and slipped out of the room. Damien waited several moments, forcing himself to keep his breathing steady, his expression tightly controlled, before he too softly excused himself and ducked from the room, leaving the shrieks of laughter and grunts of exertion behind him.
Mark caught him as he rounded the next corner, driving Damien back into the wall, making him gasp. A hand doesn’t hesitate to slide down between his legs and cup him through his slacks, making him bite his lip on a groan.
“ Mm, I’m surprised no one’s noticed how hard you are. Well-versed in keeping it subtle, are we? ” Mark squeezes gently, his other hand sliding around the other’s hips and down over his ass, cupping and rubbing firmly as Damien shuddered. Even through those tidy slacks, Mark was able to find the base of the plug he was wearing.
“ You’re too good at this, you know. It just means I’m going to have to try harder next time. ”
Damien presses a hand over his mouth, cutting off a moan. Mark leans in closer as his hand wiggles down past the waistband of Damien’s slacks, seeking more. “ That doesn’t look like nerves, does it? Mmm, no. I think you like it. ” Damien’s face flushes red and Mark grins wickedly. “ Does the idea of being caught like this excite you? Oh. Oh, it does, doesn’t it? ”
Mark’s fingers press just so and Damien feels his heart skip a beat at the volume of the noise that escapes him. Mark leans in closer, as his hands slowly drag free and slide up until they can link together behind Damien’s neck. “ Mm. You’re going to get a ten second head start. And when I catch you, I don’t care where in the Manor you are, I’m going to find something to pin you against and start stripping you out of your pretty little suit. So go fast and hope you find somewhere… private. ”
The minute Mark leaned away from him, Damien took off around him like a shot. Heading for the stairs. The bedrooms.
Mark chuckles, and follows behind at a more leisurely pace. Sometimes it isn’t about the hunt. Sometimes, it’s all about the prize.
